Who I want to be.

I think a lot about the mother I want to be, I grew up with amazing examples of what a mother should look like. I spent most Wednesdays at my grandmothers house growing up, she taught me how to sew and cook. She did my school with me and always figured out a way to weave a verse from her devotions into my schoolwork.

 

My mother taught me what a wife and mother should look like. She homeschooled my siblings and myself and was the epitome of a farmers wife. I grew up finding her doing devotions in her bed in the mornings, tailoring our schoolwork so that each of us kids learned in our own way. School was more than learning what was in the books, it was experiments in the kitchen, finding bugs and plants outside and sometimes it was going over to the shop to "help" dad while he worked on equipment.

 

She taught us to cook, clean and sew, to laugh at ourselves (and sometimes each other) she picked us up when we fell, supported us when we wanted to try something new, she let us lick the spatula, play in the dirt, and make mistakes. Best of all she taught us to love the Lord in all of it.

 

I'm aware that in particular stages of my life I wasn't the easiest child to deal with, as with most my mid to late teen years were riddled with me trying to make my own decisions (which is the tactful way of saying, I was a rebellious little turd) 

But of all the things my mother did for me, the one I appreciate the most now is that she always prayed for me. I didn't actually accept salvation until I was 24. I tried to claim it many times, but I wanted a get out of hell free card, not a relationship with God. I tried to find my own way and live for myself

 and made quite a few poor choices, but my mom never turned her back on me. I was well aware that she didn't agree with things that I did, but as clear as she made that to me, I never doubted that she loved me. She struck the beautiful balance between supporting me and loving me, but letting me know that what I was doing was not what a follower of Christ should do.

 

I told her about most everything, and she was the first person I told when I finally accepted Jesus Christ into my heart and found a genuine relationship with Him.

 

That is the mom I want to be. I want to trust God to work His plan in our kids hearts. I want our kids to know that they can always come to me, that I will always be there for them, even though they know I might not agree with them. I want them to always feel loved and protected. but I want to always be honest with them. I want to be their mom.

 

I already pray for our kids, I pray that God will work in their hearts, I pray that they will make good choices in life. But I also pray that we will be the parents they deserve I pray that they will always feel loved.